In this episode I’m excited to introduce you to Laura DeKraker Lang-Ree. She is a patient advocate, a professional educator for over 30 years, and author of a book to empower parents who are in the process of supporting their child through cancer treatment. It’s called “The Cancer Parents Handbook: What Your Oncologist Doesn’t Have Time to Tell You.”

I’m so grateful that Laura is joining me on How Humans Heal to share about her journey that led to writing the book.  She didn’t write it out of nowhere – she wrote it because she went through it herself. Her daughter had childhood leukemia at age three. 

That’s huge to have gone through the cancer treatment process and come out the other side saying “I want to help others by writing the book I needed when I was in the process of helping my daughter.”

Navigating the treatment process can be so stressful. The medical team is phenomenal at the treatment side, but they don’t have time to explain everything parents need to know about managing daily life, supporting their child’s wellbeing, and maintaining their own health through the process. This book aims to provide that missing piece – the information parents desperately need but doctors don’t have time to share.

The impact of cancer treatment goes far beyond the medical aspects. It affects the whole family – parents, siblings, and extended family members. It changes routines, challenges relationships, and forces families to develop new ways of coping and supporting each other. 

Laura’s book addresses all these aspects, providing practical guidance for navigating both the medical journey and the profound personal transformation that comes with it. I’ve very proud to have contributed to the Cancer Parent’s Handbook with insights as a naturopathic doctor, and as Laura’s doctor (with her permission to share). 

The Inspiration Behind the Book

Laura shares that she wrote this book because of a lack of knowledge and deep frustration when going through the process with her daughter, who was diagnosed with childhood leukemia 27 years ago. 

As an educator by profession, she was always looking for answers and digging into research. While she had experienced friends and family with different kinds of trauma diagnoses, there was something profound about when your child goes through something and you’re the person who has to take care of them.

Early on in the process, she realized there was a huge gap between the medical side of treatment and the whole rest of the story. The day after her daughter’s diagnosis, her oncologist told her there was an 85% chance of survival. All she could hear was that her daughter had a 15% chance of dying. 

The medical team was phenomenal at curing cancer – back in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, children were mostly dying with maybe a 20% chance of survival. When they figured out how to put treatment in the cerebrospinal fluid, that changed the statistics greatly.

The oncologist also said her daughter would never do math or science – something she’d just have to accept. This was very early on, and some might think it presumptuous to be thinking of anything besides survival, but Laura was angered by this pronouncement. She thought, “You’re telling me that this thing could kill her and she might not be who she is? I don’t think that’s right.”

Laura’s journey with her daughter’s cancer showed her that while medical treatment is crucial, there’s a whole world of additional support and knowledge that can make a tremendous difference in outcomes. The book addresses what she calls “that other 15%” – the aspects of treatment and recovery that fall outside traditional medical care but can significantly impact a child’s ability to not just survive, but thrive.

She discovered that when you’re dealing with cancer in children, it’s not typically something where you take the medicine, you’re cured, you say goodbye and off you go. It’s a long process, and something that’s often underrated is what happens when you’re done with the treatment. That’s often when people first realize what has happened to their body and begin to process the emotional impact of the experience.

Building a Support Network

What changed everything was meeting another mother, Irene, who had a child with the same leukemia diagnosis. Irene approached Laura in the hospital, saying “You look like you need help.” She had a baby in a front pack and a kid in the stroller, and their children were soon playing together on the floor. Irene took Laura’s email and sent her a comprehensive list: what to expect the first month, what different treatments feel like, what to ask for – a whole plethora of information specific to their cancer journey and hospital experience.

This was a pivotal moment that empowered Laura to realize she had options she didn’t even know existed. Along with Irene and her son Luke, they bonded with a group of six families who had similar diagnoses. You really get to know these families, and while treatments are much better now, they’re not perfect. In their small group, they witnessed the harsh realities when three children died and two relapsed, went through repeated treatments and successful bone marrow transplants, but faced a lifetime of side effects.

The isolation of a cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming. That’s why having a support network is so crucial. Laura found that cancer and other illnesses can chase people away when you want them to be there for you. Most people genuinely want to help – they just don’t know how. The book provides specific guidance for loved ones, helping bridge that gap and create stronger support networks for families facing this challenge.

The support network became crucial not just for information sharing, but for emotional support. When you get a diagnosis, it’s shocking and overwhelming because you’re trying to take in all these different decisions – these are life and death decisions you feel like you have in your hands. 

At that point, sometimes the stress paralyzes us, and we don’t even know how to communicate with other people. Sometimes it’s hard for other people to know how to communicate with someone they know is dealing with cancer.

The Cancer Parents Handbook: A Practical Guide

The book serves as a step-by-step guide through the process, similar to “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” but for cancer treatment. While each cancer is different, there are fundamental processes that are largely the same if treatment progresses without complications. The book takes readers from diagnosis day through the end of treatment, with toolbox tips providing concrete strategies throughout.

The initial chapters focus on what needs immediate attention versus what can wait, since treatments often last months or years. The book covers creating a new normal for your family, how to live with cancer, what to expect during hospital stays, how to make friends with doctors and nurses, and even how to throw a “hospital party” to maintain some fun in your child’s life during dark times.

There are specific chapters from both the parent and child perspectives on body and soul, with tips and tricks for how to fortify yourself while caregiving and how to help children process chemotherapy while it does its job. The book addresses nutrition, exercise, faith (or lack thereof), and most importantly, how to ask for help – a critical component that’s established early and repeated throughout.

The book is filled with toolbox tips so that along the way, parents have concrete strategies they can use for whatever challenges they’re facing in that moment. The question Laura gets all the time is “My child was just diagnosed – what do I do? How do I do this?” The book helps parents prioritize since this is a marathon, with treatments lasting months or years.

Early Detection and Advocacy

When asked about what led to the initial diagnosis, Laura explained that there weren’t any dramatic symptoms – her daughter was just pale and less energetic than usual. She was the kind of kid who always loved to run on the playground, but suddenly wanted to be held and sit down. When asked where she didn’t feel right, her three-and-a-half-year-old daughter rubbed her torso and said “everywhere.”

Laura doesn’t want to scare parents, but emphasizes that there was really nothing dramatic going on with her daughter’s health – she just knew something wasn’t right. The doctor initially dismissed concerns, but Laura insisted on blood tests. This early advocacy proved crucial, and advocacy became a fundamental theme in her book. She aims to empower parents of children with any kind of medical trauma, though this focuses on cancer because that was her journey.

Laura worked with some amazing medical professionals – her daughter’s former oncologist, nurse practitioner, and others – who all said the same thing: they need parents to be part of the medical team to advocate for their children because while the medical team knows the medical side, they don’t know the rest. The problem is they don’t have the time or knowledge to tell parents what they can do.

The book talks extensively about how to be an effective advocate for your child. This includes knowing what questions to ask, understanding when to push for additional tests or second opinions, and learning how to communicate effectively with medical professionals. Laura learned these skills through experience and now shares them to help other parents navigate the medical system more effectively.

Empowering Children Through Cancer Treatment

Laura emphasized the importance of giving children agency during treatment. For example, when her daughter needed weekly lab draws, they created a routine where they would bike around the neighborhood with her favorite books and snacks before ending up at the labs. Her daughter could choose which leg to sit on and whether to hold her sister’s hand. While she still had to get the lab draw, she could make other choices, which helped her not cry during procedures.

As an educator, Laura understood that children love to have agency and choices, but equally love to have boundaries. For home chemotherapy shots, which had to be forcefully administered, they established clear rules: her daughter could watch TV during dinner and pick her meal, but she had to show kindness and use good manners. If they were in the hospital, tantrums weren’t allowed. 

In return, she would get what she wanted afterward – it was a win-win because they set the boundary of not being disruptive during treatment, but she got to have her movie and popsicle after dinner.

The book includes a chapter about the “hospital party” which tells parents how to create some enjoyment in their child’s life even during these dark times. The goal was to help their daughter feel like a “badass” as she went through treatment, which meant sometimes hiding their own rawness and trauma to create that sense of fun. 

Laura is careful to include both things that cost money and things that can be done at home for free.

The Role of Complementary Medicine

Around three months into treatment, they began working with a naturopathic doctor who specialized in providing complementary therapies alongside chemotherapy. It took time for their oncologist to agree to communicate with the naturopathic doctor, but this collaboration proved to be a game-changer. 

The power of naturopathic medicine during cancer treatment can be remarkable, but it’s crucial to work with professionals since certain supplements can interfere with chemotherapy drugs – for example, vitamin C can potentially interfere with methotrexate.

They weren’t looking for someone to cure her cancer; they were looking for complementary medicine that would elevate and lift the process and help her stay strong. They worked with a naturopathic doctor in Seattle who was on the cancer ward providing naturopathic therapies in conjunction with chemo. It took about three months for their oncologist to agree to speak with him because it wouldn’t work unless they were working in tandem.

The approach included various strategies: when taking certain drugs or during hospital stays, they would encourage physical activity – not by telling their daughter to sweat out the chemotherapy, but by letting her choose activities she enjoyed. They incorporated massage – while professional massage therapy was helpful when they could afford it, they also learned techniques to help with lymphatic drainage.

When it came to rewiring her daughter’s brain and preventing side effects, Laura found success through this integrative approach. Her daughter didn’t experience neuropathy, eye issues, or ear issues because of their proactive approach to managing that. Instead, she ended up getting both bachelor’s and master’s degrees in math and science, proving that early negative predictions didn’t have to define her future.

Caring for the Caregiver

Taking care of oneself as a caregiver is crucial – research shows that if the caregiver isn’t taking care of themselves, they become susceptible to health issues and less able to care for their child. We need to look at self-care in two categories: body and soul. This includes therapy (either through hospital social workers or private practitioners), meditation, and regular exercise.

A fundamental thing for any parent going through trauma is to surrender to the situation – though this surrendering isn’t passive, it’s super active. You have to acknowledge the reality: “My kid has cancer.” The more you resist that mentally, the more it shows up in your body physically. Once you accept it, you have space in your brain and body to ask “What’s next?” and take action.

Morning meditation became a key practice for Laura. She would find a quiet place and have some kind of inspirational reading that meant something to her – really just 10 minutes at most. While it was tricky in the beginning, with little noses pressed against the window wondering when mom was coming back, having a plan with her partner or support network made it possible to create and protect that space.

Laura found that a gratitude journal was also life-changing, though she initially thought it was a ridiculous suggestion – “My kid has cancer, what do I have to be thankful for?” But writing down small things that went well each day before bed helped reset her body chemistry. The practice of looking for moments of gratitude, even in difficult circumstances, became a powerful tool for maintaining perspective and emotional balance.

Life After Cancer Treatment

The transition after treatment isn’t simple – there’s still uncertainty and the need to wait a year to confirm no relapse. With childhood cancers, the treatment protocol typically involves giving a lot of chemotherapy in the first months to achieve remission, then pulling back to maintain remission for the next two and a half to three years. Even after treatment ends, there isn’t usually a feeling of complete relief because you know too much about the reality of people relapsing, even on their last day of treatment.

Laura and her husband visited their pastor when spiraling about the “what ifs” near the end of treatment. The pastor paused and asked if they had ever considered that their daughter could be the hope. This shifted everything and highlighted the importance of what we choose to say to ourselves as we go through trauma. It’s a practice that Laura still maintains today – when things come up and she needs to change the narrative in her head, she returns to these tools.

She encourages parents to view cancer as a chapter in their life rather than the whole story. While it becomes part of the family narrative, it doesn’t have to define everything. The book includes a chapter on bereavement and living with loss, acknowledging that not all journeys have the same outcome. Through Irene’s story of losing Luke, the book addresses how families can make choices in passing, grieve together, and honor their child’s memory.

Early in their journey, Laura attended a parent meeting at a camp for kids with cancer, where she met parents whose children were anywhere from three months to ten years post-treatment. She noticed that some parents were still living in their cancer years, still trapped in the trauma and health problems, even though their children might have been cured. This experience motivated her to find a different way forward and eventually help others do the same.

Building Lasting Resilience

Through her experience and the writing of this book, Laura discovered that this journey can actually make families stronger than ever. The main takeaway possible from this experience is a sense of resiliency and knowing what you can advocate for throughout your entire life. Whether dealing with aging parents or other catastrophes (Laura mentioned even having a landslide on their house), the experience gives you a perspective on what really matters.

The book also includes a special chapter for grandparents, friends, and family, because cancer and other illnesses can sometimes chase people away when you want them to be there for you. Most people do want to help – they just don’t know how. By providing specific guidance for loved ones, the book helps bridge that gap and create stronger support networks for families facing this challenge.

Mental health support is particularly important for caregivers. This might come through professional counseling, support groups, or regular check-ins with trusted friends or family members. It’s absolutely normaland okay to struggle with the emotional weight of caring for a seriously ill child, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Laura’s ultimate goal in writing this book was to provide the resource she wished she’d had during her own journey. While every family’s experience with childhood cancer is unique, there are common challenges and needs that the book addresses. She hopes it will help families feel less alone and more empowered as they navigate their own paths.

Through her work as an educator and author, Laura continues to advocate for better support for families dealing with childhood cancer. 

While medical treatment has improved dramatically, there’s still a need for better integration of support services and resources for families going through this challenging journey.

Her message to parents facing this challenge is clear: you are stronger than you know, and you don’t have to face this alone. With the right support and resources, you can navigate this journey while maintaining hope and finding moments of joy even in the midst of difficulty. The cancer journey may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to define your entire narrative.

Laura continues to work with families facing childhood cancer, sharing her experience and the wisdom she’s gained emphasizing that while each family’s journey is unique, there are common challenges and opportunities for growth that all families face. The book serves as a roadmap for navigating these challenges while maintaining family bonds and individual wellbeing.

She’s particularly passionate about helping families understand that they can take an active role in their child’s treatment and recovery. While the medical team handles the critical aspects of treatment, parents can contribute significantly to their child’s wellbeing through nutrition, emotional support, and creating an environment that promotes healing.

If you would like to learn more about Laura and how she can help you make sure to visit her website here. If you would like to order a copy of her book “The Cancer Parents Handbook: What Your Oncologist Doesn’t Have Time to Tell You” you can do it here. You can also find Laura on Instagram @cancerpatientshandbook and Facebook @Laura DeKraker Lang-Ree: The Cancer Parent’s Handbook. 

It is important to know that it is possible to recover from the stress and trauma, including what a cancer diagnosis can cause. Yes, we can truly heal. And you’re not likely to hear that from your standard doctor’s office. Keep in mind, they are not educated about diet, exercise, supplements, or stress recovery. 

I, Dr. Doni, am living proof that it is possible to heal from trauma, and to reverse chronic health issues otherwise considered to be irreversible. I healed myself from migraines and arthritis, and help patients to heal from the effects of stress, including fatigue, autoimmunity, infertility, abnormal pap results (cervical dysplasia), and avoid cervical cancer related to high-risk HPV virus, and many other health issues.

The first step is to know exactly how stress and trauma, including from medical treatments, have affected your stress hormone levels. When we are exposed to ongoing, chronic stress, our stress hormones can get stuck too high or too low, and when our stress hormones are too high or too low, it sends a stress signal throughout our bodies that leads to more health issues. 

To solve this, we need to know whether your stress hormones – cortisol and adrenaline – are too high or too low, and from there I can guide you to bring them back to optimal levels using diet, lifestyle, nutrients and herbs. In this way, we can completely recover from and eliminate the effects of stress and trauma. 

You can begin by taking the online Stress Type Quiz I developed, which will help you to know whether your cortisol and adrenaline are likely to be too high or too low. From there, you can read my book – Master Your Stress, Reset Your Health – and/or meet with me so I can guide you to fully support yourself to recover from what you’ve been through. 

I help patients by phone and zoom, anywhere in the world. You can set up a one-on-one appointment here.

Once I meet with you one on one, we will create a strategic plan based on your health needs, including sessions with the health coach on my team to help guide you to implement my Stress Recovery Protocol which involves optimizing cortisol and adrenaline levels, as well as neurotransmitters, using nutrients, herbs and C.A.R.E.™ – my proprietary program to support clean eating, adequate sleep, stress recovery and exercise. 

I specialize in epigenetics, methylation, oxidative stress, mitochondrial dysfunction, and detoxification, all of which are key aspects of recovering from the effects of stress and trauma.

If you are currently dealing with persistent HPV or abnormal Pap smear results I encourage you to watch my HPV Masterclass immediately – it’s about an hour long and available right away. 

Sign Up Now (Free!)

From there, you might choose to join the Heal HPV Kickstart Program, for the initial steps of my protocol, including diet changes and supplements, over the first 30 days. Find the HPV Support Bundle here. Or you can begin with the comprehensive Say Goodbye to HPV Program, which is 3 months and supports you to implement my full protocol.

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Thank you all for joining me for this fascinating discussion with Laura. If you found this information helpful, please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode of How Humans Heal. 

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