In today’s episode I interview Michelle Burke. Michelle is a bestselling author of Hot Mess Magic, podcaster, speaker and Hot Mess Alchemist. She specializes in helping women reclaim their power, regain their confidence, and transform their lives.
Today we talk about what it means to be a hot mess alchemist and how Michelle helps people by guiding them through their transformational journey.
Michelle lives by this philosophy that every one of us is a hot mess whether we want to admit it or not, and it’s through those low points in our lives that we grow, we transform and we learn the most.
How Change Starts from Within
We focus so much on the outside, like bringing more abundance, prosperity, and money but we forget that change need to start on the inside. It doesn’t matter if we are doing all the things that everyone says to do – such as working with a coach, or reading all the right books, or doing the meditations and affirmations and mantras – if we don’t change from the inside out, things are not going to shift for us.
Michelle was a middle school science teacher for many years. She woke up one day and realized she could not do it for one more day. She realized that what she was doing was crushing her soul. So, she quit her job, moved with nothing lined up, and started a business in network marketing.
She realized she needed to grow, to expand, to transform, because she was not happy anymore with the life she was living. That big change started from within, and in the process she outgrew the life she had, and realized she needed more.
If you are growing emotionally and becoming more aware of yourself and your passion and purpose, then you could start to realize your life doesn’t match you anymore. You’re stepping into a new and improved version of yourself.
How to Recognize The Magic in Your Mess
There are times in your life when you might feel like everything is a mess. Nothing is working in your favor, and everything seems to be upside down. It’s like if you’re in a snow globe that someone just shook and all you want is for that dust to settle. You may be glad that things are changing but you don’t know where you’re going to land.
It’s within this mess that the transformation process happens. And you will see later that you will start to connect the dots and start to gain clarity, you will see your life coming together and will realize the shifts that had to take place within you to achieve this new life.
A lot of times this can be scary, because even when you could be unhappy with your job or where you live or your day to day life, it’s what is familiar to you and the unfamiliar is always scary. We are used to be in our comfort zone, but change doesn’t happen in your comfort zone.
This fear comes from our egos, it’s our egos job to protect us and keep us away from the danger of the unfamiliar. But we must reach that point where we get honest with ourselves and have that conversation with our ego, we thank it for keeping us safe but let it know we are doing this new thing anyway. For some people this means taking a big leap and for others it could feel more comfortable to pace it and introduce one change at a time.
What Tools Can We Use to Change?
Meditation is a good way to start. Another option is something Michelle calls “body set” where instead of focusing on the mind-body connection, we approach it the other way around and focus on the body-mind connection by diving deeper into our bodies and our nervous systems and what feelings are coming up. We can also utilize traditional Chinese medicine, like acupressure points, and the concept of letting go – letting go of what no longer serves us and our purpose.
We are so used to living in our minds, constantly thinking, worrying, planning, and organizing that sometimes we forget that we’re even living in a human body and that connecting with our bodies can also help heal our minds.
Being aware of our bodies and listening to them is also a way to be more present and realize the change that we need. A simple thing, such as taking a minute in the morning when we wake up to say good morning to ourselves and ask how do we feel, or making that French toast breakfast we are craving and eating it slowly, can help us connect more with our bodies.
We need to listen to what our body is telling us and analyze why is it telling us these things. If you’re resisting doing something, if it doesn’t feel safe in your body, ask yourself why. Why don’t I want to e-mail this person? Why don’t I want to make this phone call? Why do I have this anxiety that’s coming up when I talk about a certain individual? This will help you be conscious about what is it that you want to change.
From my experience (Dr. Doni speaking), I see this situation come up very often for women that I help with addressing/resolving HPV (human papilloma virus) and abnormal pap results. The women who are most successful at getting HPV to negative are the most willing to really listen to their bodies and undergo a body-mind transformation. This virus is more likely to thrive in our bodies when we are out of balance. So, when they listen to their bodies, they are able to transform and get back to alignment with themselves and their purpose, and get the virus to stop causing abnormal cells.
Connecting With Our Bodies and Getting to The Heart of the Matter
By really connecting with our bodies and just taking the time to analyze things from a different perspective and opening our hearts, we can get to the heart of the matter, to the real root of our pain, either physical or emotional.
When we’re feeling pain it’s an indicator that something’s wrong. A headache is an indicator that something is wrong. Pain in your knee is an indicator that something is wrong, but we live in a society that pushes us to the quick fix, instead of really opening up and thinking about what the real root of the problem is.
We need to allow ourselves to ride the waves of emotions. By riding those waves and truly honoring what it is that we’re feeling and express those feelings in some way, shape or form.
Normalizing Being a Mess
A lot of times we’re judgmental about mess. Society tells us we are not supposed to be a mess. We are supposed to have everything sorted out and under control, and we’re not even supposed to feel some of these feelings.
We should let ourselves be a mess because there’s magic in our mess. It’s when everything is a mess when we start our transformation. So, we need to accept it and be unconditional and forgiving and gentle with ourselves, and if that means you might be breaking rules, then break the rules!
We must normalize the fact that we’re human and that nobody has it all figured out. Since the start of social media we’ve been living in this facade of perfect. Well, nobody is prefect, and nobody has it all sorted out. Nobody has a perfect life, and everybody needs help.
It’s not about trying to be perfect. It’s about allowing yourself to be human. To be flawed. Let’s normalize being a mess. Let’s take the stigma off things that are going on in your life, whether it’s a divorce, financial struggles, or family issues. These things are perfectly normal and happen to everybody.
We have to teach ourselves to let go of trying to control everything. We can’t control anything really. With the illusion of control, we are actually getting further from ourselves and we’re putting ourselves in a “tunnel vision” that will not let us grow because we will miss the opportunities that may come our way.
Each and every one of us has a gift. We’re all here for a reason. We all have a purpose. It’s up to us to connect with ourselves and realize what it is and reach our full potential.
I love this topic of emotional and spiritual transformation so much! It has made all the difference in my health, and I see if help my patients every day, so I’ve included it in my Holistic Detoxification Protocol and 14-day Detox Program. In the program, you’ll be guided to detox your body, mind, and spirit! Check it out and join in today.
If you want to learn more about my approach on how you can start taking better care of yourself and apply my SelfC.A.R.E. protocol so that you can get back to feeling your best, you may want to start by reading my book Master Your Stress Reset Your Health.
In my book, I also share the quiz I developed to help you identify how stress has affected you specifically by knowing your Stress Type. You can also take this Stress Type Quiz online.
TAKE THE FREE STRESS QUIZ TO FIND OUT YOUR STRESS TYPE:
For the most comprehensive support to recover from stress and trauma, even with the most difficult health issues (physical or mental), it is best to meet with me one-on-one, which is available to you no matter where you are in the world (via phone or zoom). You can set up a one-on-one appointment with me here.
And if you have tested positive for HPV and you’re ready to transform your health and life, please start by watching my HPV Masterclass here.
We’re here to help you!
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More Resources from Dr. Doni:
- Start with Dr. Doni’s Stress Quiz:
- Latest Book: Master Your Stress, Reset Your Health
- Stress Warrior Book
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- 7-day SelfC.A.R.E Stress Reset
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